Chapter 124 — Because He Wanted To

CHAPTER 124

Because He Wanted To

“Is this mine?” Ling Qingzhu asked, touching the little case beside her chest.

“Unless you've hidden another wife behind the screen,” Shi Feng replied.

She looked at him coldly, but opened the lid. Travel medicines rested inside, each wrapped separately. A folded instruction sheet lay across the top.

“I know how to use recovery pills,” Ling Qingzhu said.

“The sheet isn't for those,” Shi Feng replied. “It's for the other jars. You dislike the smell of the usual insect wash.”

She picked up the smallest bottle and opened it. There was almost no scent. Her expression softened at once.

“You remembered that too,” Ling Qingzhu said.

“You threaten every mosquito that enters the room,” Shi Feng replied. “It's difficult to forget.”

She laughed and put the bottle back. He watched her arrange the case's contents, pleased with how much she liked them. Nothing inside was beyond his ability or expensive enough to trouble his business. He made them because he knew her habits.

That should've been simple.

He lifted a narrow packet from the lower layer and put it beside the wash.

“Don't open this until you camp,” Shi Feng said. “Keep it near the entrance, not beside your face.”

“Another insect medicine?” Ling Qingzhu asked.

“For the smaller biting flies,” Shi Feng replied. “The wash works on your skin. This keeps them out of the bedding.”

She turned the packet over. Its cloth was plain, and the cord was tied tightly enough that the contents wouldn't scatter if she dropped it.

“You've thought of everything,” Ling Qingzhu said.

“Not everything,” Shi Feng replied. “If you insist on sleeping in an ants' nest, move before complaining.”

She laughed and nudged his arm. He let himself enjoy the contact.

He showed her the remaining bottles one by one. The little warming wash needed only a few drops. The eye rinse belonged away from the stronger ointment. None were rare treasures, but they were chosen for her, not copied from a shop's travel bundle.

“Was this troublesome?” Ling Qingzhu asked.

“Less troublesome than hearing you curse every insect between here and Qingyun City,” Shi Feng replied.

She pretended to be offended. He could see her pleasure clearly. Her fingers moved carefully over each wrapper, and she kept turning the case toward the light to read his notes.

He thought, She'll use them and remember I made them. It was a small, selfish wish. He wanted some part of their ordinary life to travel with her even if their paths later separated.

She found the little jar of scentless cream last. Its lid carried no shop seal. He prepared it separately, leaving out the ingredient that made the ordinary formula smell too sweet for her.

“My cousin asked about this,” Ling Qingzhu said. “Can you give Ling Shuyun the recipe? She wants the women at the residence to try it.”

“They can buy the ordinary cream,” Shi Feng replied.

“They dislike its scent too,” Ling Qingzhu said. “Just write down what you changed.”

He hesitated. The request wasn't difficult. It was the way she made it, turning something prepared for her into another item her family could claim without asking him.

“Did you promise them?” Shi Feng asked.

“I said it should be fine,” Ling Qingzhu replied. “It's only a cream.”

He closed the empty outer wrapping and put it aside.

“Then tell them you should've asked first,” Shi Feng said.

Her smile faded. He didn't sound angry, but he wasn't teasing either.

“I wasn't giving away your pill formulas,” Ling Qingzhu said. “You made this for me.”

“Yes,” Shi Feng replied. “For you.”

“And I've already paid for that,” Ling Qingzhu said. “I thought you wouldn't mind.”

Shi Feng went still. The room was quiet enough that he heard the porcelain lid click against the jar when she set it down.

“Paid for what?” Shi Feng asked quietly.

She frowned, confused by the edge in his voice.

“The things you do for me under our agreement,” Ling Qingzhu replied. “I didn't mean every pill you refine for South Pill Street.”

Shi Feng looked at her across the open medicine case. “First, you haven't paid the agreement. The pale bag you handed me the morning after we registered had not a single spirit stone inside it, and when I showed it to you, you told me to keep the unpaid line out of your sight.”

Ling Qingzhu's posture stiffened at once. In her mind, the old claim from their second morning in the courtyard was resurfacing only because he was now a famous alchemist who felt the original sum was beneath him.

“You're bringing that up again?” Ling Qingzhu said, her voice cooling. “I counted those ten thousand stones myself before we moved in. And even if you feel the original terms were too small for what you do now, you don't need a separate commission for every small jar.”

He remembered the actual terms. A registered marriage, temporary protection from a forced royal match, a bed for her and floor bedding for him. No intimacy owed. No right to the other's things.

None of it required him to remember how she liked her tea. He thought, Ask clearly. Don't turn one careless answer into something worse than it is.

“When I waited for you beside the pond,” Shi Feng asked, “did you think I was doing work?”

Ling Qingzhu's expression changed. The question sounded too serious for a little jar of cream.

“You were being a good husband,” Ling Qingzhu said.

“That's not what I asked,” Shi Feng replied.

She looked away first. He couldn't see whether she was embarrassed or annoyed, and for once that uncertainty frightened him more than an enemy's threat.

“You accepted the arrangement,” Ling Qingzhu said. “Of course I expected you to take it seriously.”

He nodded slowly. She still believed she was explaining something they both understood.

“And the evenings we spent here?” Shi Feng asked.

“What about them?” Ling Qingzhu replied.

“The things nobody outside this room saw,” Shi Feng said. “Did you think those belonged to the agreement too?”

She glanced toward the kitchen. There were the cups they used yesterday and the tea packet he brought home. She thought of his work, his growing reputation, and the way he kept refusing extra demands.

Perhaps this was the conversation he'd been avoiding. Perhaps he wanted her to recognize how much he did beyond standing beside her in public.

“I know you've done more than the bare minimum,” Ling Qingzhu said. “I've never said you haven't.”

It was an answer someone might give a worker asking whether his work was satisfactory. Shi Feng felt a dull ache in his chest. He could take a sword strike without stepping back, yet he suddenly wanted to turn away from her face.

He didn't.

“I didn't do those things because I had to,” Shi Feng said.

“I didn't force you,” Ling Qingzhu replied quickly.

“I know,” Shi Feng said. “I'm telling you why I chose them.”

She went quiet. He looked at the case he prepared for her and felt foolish for needing to explain something he thought she could see.

“I like spending time with you,” Shi Feng said. “When you asked me to come to the gathering, I came because you wanted me there. Not because your family's seal was on a letter.”

Her heart beat faster. For a moment she almost smiled. Then she remembered the dispute over his time and thought she understood the complaint beneath the words.

“I didn't know you felt the terms were unfair,” Ling Qingzhu said.

“I'm not discussing terms,” Shi Feng replied.

His voice stayed calm. That cost him more effort than she knew.

Outside, someone crossed the lane calling a vegetable seller. An ordinary morning continued beyond the gate. He looked at her and wanted one ordinary answer from the woman he'd come to love.

“You don't need to call every kindness a duty,” Shi Feng said. “I cared because I wanted to.”

She held his gaze. The warmth in his words reached her, but she still tried to fit it inside the arrangement that made their shared life safe and understandable.

“Then why does the agreement trouble you now?” Ling Qingzhu asked.

His hand stopped beside the medicine case.

It wasn't the agreement that troubled him. It was realizing she couldn't hear him without returning to it.

He drew his hand back and waited. He loved her enough to give her another chance to understand.